If 10 years ago you would've asked me if I felt like i was Trans, I would've said "errmmmm what's that? lemme keep watching Undyne x Alphys ship videos" or whatever I was into back then..
BUT THEEEENN after a couple years I started realizing that maybe wanting to have the power to change gender and appearence whenever i wanted waaaas a tiny indicator that i was trans, that and not wanting to grow facial hair, and body hair, and want to grow out my HAIR HAIR, okay yeah and having bigger thighs and thinner waist... GULP.
As I said on the first blog post, yeeah I started roleplaying on Twitter. I used to pretend to be a girl and be all cutesy uwu teehee type thing, basically how i am right now but like 10 times more YAYYY TEEHEE :3333 UWU,,, i definitely became waaaayyy chiller as of recently, trust me! And after that everything just snowballed into me becoming a femboy (gulp..), then genderfluid! But that was short-lived, i didn't MIND being a boy back then but being a girl was just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER. SOOOOO MUCH....... so ye i'm girl :3
I'm hopeful for the future but still, gender and Gender identity is such a complicated concept to so many people around where i live, and I guess I can understand why! Everyone's used to the tipical 2 points, or you're a girl or you're a boy. If you're a girl who dresses like a boy, then you like football and are a tomboy and that's fine, BUT if you're a guy who dresses like a girl then you're a FAGGOT.
But this last year, 2025, just opened my head to what the perfect life could truly look like! Just in early January 2025, I started thinking about taking estrogen (like,, pursuing through the LOOOONG path to get it) and DANG i was afraid of looking like a guy but with boobs, but after a whole year of getting told that i'm lowkey a pretty girl.....
I'M MUCH MORE AFRAID OF LOSING MY PRECIOUS DIH SIZE,,, SSDFGHGHJKSFD YEAH.
Of course I'm still scared! In a country like this one, with kids growing up wanting to me #sigmafootballchamps like their rapist idol #ronaldo, and old guys who are already #womenbeaterchamps, it's scary to be a trans girl! REALLY REALLY SCARY!!!
But I still remember when I was starting to TRY to figure myself out, while rambling and venting to a friend they told me that she went through the same worries "oh but what if i dont 100% want this" or "oh but I dont see myself as a girl 100%" or "i would like to just magically become a girl, BUUUT-", and when she told me "you're a girl", i found myself smiling. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand yep i'm girl now! :3333333
ofc i went through so much more worries and vents but YE WE GOT HERE!!!
Also lmao i remember everyday a couple months ago waking up feeling weird, out of place and super nervous and unsure about being trans BUT ON INSTAGRAM I SAW A COMIC WHERE LUFFY FROM ONE PIECE WAKES UP AS A GIRL AND THEIR REACTIONS WITH EVERYONE AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 🥺 🥺 🥺
this is what i want. I feel really happy when i'm treated as a girl, SO I'M A GIRL.
It's hard to remember how far you've come with every little step but please, you can do it. its all patience, you'll get there even if it seems impossible at the moment.
"Danny Don't You Know" - Ninja Sex Party