Feelings are just complicated, they are! Everyone experiences things differently and most of them don't really tell you the SPECIFICS of what they feel when they get that feeling, y'know what i mean. Like, when you're happy your body seems to feel lighter and warmer than if you were feeling sad! But there's so much more to that, emotions that i never understood, or simply that i've never had or never connected the feeling to the emotion!
The way emotions work for me kinda freaks me out a bit, honestly my antidepressants might be fucking me over a bit BUT i've always felt amazingly strong mood swings, I might be incredibly happy but one tiny tiny thing happens and it all comes crumbling down, crumbling down, crumbling down... Sometimes I just feel sad cuz yeah, idk it just happens! And it's not like i'm sobbing and crying everyday!! Y'all know i can't cry, only if i'm thinking about someone in particular but BLUH THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT. Instead of feeling sad it just seems like i feel empty, like my soul came out of my body and i'm just an empty husk, it's so freaky (not in the sexy way)
I could be having an awesome day, i go into a restaurant with my fam, we sit down and my brain turns off.
And now it's like my hands are floaty and move on their own, and that my mind is just barely outside my body and i can see myself..
OHOHOHOHO NOW TRY PICTURING DANI UNDERSTANDING LOVE, OR MAYBE WHY SHE GETS SUPER ATTACHED TO PEOPLE, OOOR WHY DOES SHE NEED ATTENTION AND VALIDATION 24/7... HMMMMM.........
For YEARS now, when people asked me "Oh how are you doing?" I would always spurt out "I'm doing SUUUPER good as always, how about you??" while maybe I wasn't feeling SUPER GOOD, but yes just EH.
If you know me personally or on Discord, I don't say that "i'm good" when im NOT good x3
I've started using such fancy words as "blehhhh", "ehhhhh" and "i mean yeah i'm alive, so that's pretty cool i guess" (gotta thank my good fren melody for that one LMAO) but yeah no jokes at all, i feel like that!!!! I FEEL BLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And jealousy oughh i feel that so much and I just recently found out what it truly felt like.. or LOVE feelings, when you want to be with someone so badly but the world has other plans, when every moment without they're not there they're INSIDE ur mind. The feeling when you wanna tell them so much but your brain and hands don't let you type what you wanna say..
(and that you lowkey dont wanna be perceived as a GUY. and a CREEPY one at that.... :'3
Or when you feel like someone's strangling ur heart making you fidget and breathe harder and faster.. Those feelings where you just wanna scream out FUCK and AAAAAAAAAAAAA and just go wild and punch some stuff!!!
Or when you had just the most magical day filled with fun, passion, laughs, amazement, just a wonderful day, and at the end you gotta say goodbye. Finding yourself crawling back into the endless boring awful routine that is the day to day. The emptiness you feel is out of this world omfg, you wanna cry but LOOOOL ANTIDEPRESSANTS MAKE CRYING GO BYE BYE!!!
But during that day you laughed like crazy, got so happy you wanted to jump around and run around the walls just SCREAM OF EUPHORIA!!!! like YAYYYYY YIPPIEEEE YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
My emotions are weird wtf... everything seems so much more amplified, and it was always like this! I always feel super happy or super depressed or super in love or super FUCKED RAWHHHHH!!!!!! maybe im just super fucked yeah
this is the person that's making a videogame about love and understanding.. i guess i do know a lot of stuff, but not for myself?????? or maybe cuz the world is not a magical place